How often do we take the time to listen to our hearts and recognize what is going on? Sometimes negative thoughts and emotions run through our heads and we are not aware that these difficult emotions stop us from being the people we want to be. Many of us desire to be gentle, calm parents and develop more patience. We want to handle our children’s challenging emotions without yelling or screaming. However, it is important to acknowledge that being calm and composed is not simple. The stress we encounter in our everyday lives makes it difficult to consistently practice these behaviors.
As we always say in Emosyon Bibo, we believe that we cannot provide something that we don’t possess when discussing the qualities of being a calm, gentle, and emotionally supportive parent-teacher. If we want to connect with the people we love emotionally, we need to connect to ourselves first. If we want to intentionally listen and be there for our friends, partner, or children, we must listen to our hearts first.
Though there are a lot of talks, books, and articles written about this matter, it is still hard to practice being a calm, gentle, and intentional parent. It may be harder if we only focus on wanting to change our kids. We also need to focus and work on ourselves as a parent. We need to start with ourselves because, in parenting, our most important tool is ourselves. Writing in a feeling and gratitude journal is a great way to help us in so many ways as parents and as individuals.
Here are the benefits of writing in a journal:
- Writing in a journal will help you grow in self-awareness.
Self-awareness means understanding your emotions and what your feelings do to you and others around you. Journaling your emotions consistently will help you practice expressing yourself and listening to your heart. The more self-awareness you have, the more you can understand other people’s emotions and the more you can relate to them. We must first listen to our emotions and grow our self-awareness to become our children’s emotional coaches.
Self-awareness will help you reach your goals in parenting or other areas of your life because you will be aware of what hinders you from becoming the person you want to be. Journalling your emotions will improve your relationships because the more you are self-aware, the more empathy you will have for others, and the more you can express yourself to others.
2. Journalling promotes gratitude and positive thinking.
Stopping and writing down your feelings and what you are grateful for can help you clear your mind of negative thoughts. You might come up with a solution you hadn’t considered before as you write.
“Gratitude diaries can really work. In studies, we found that if you manage to write down three things each day that are going well and do it for longer than a week . . . levels of well-being rise even up to six months afterward.” —Ilona Boniwell, PhD
According to Goldie Hawn, author of 10 Mindful Minutes, people who kept a weekly gratitude notebook had fewer physical problems and reported less discomfort. They exercised more frequently, ate healthier, and had regular checkups. He added that gratitude has an emotional impact on us as well. It makes us more compassionate and generous to others, more equipped to deal with stress, and less lonely.
3. Journalling enables us to ask for help from the people we trust
It’s challenging to be completely honest and vulnerable, even to the people we love the most. Making those hard conversations, exposing your heart, needs, anger, and other unpleasant emotions, is not easy.
Journaling consistently allows you to see your struggles and understand yourself better. The more you understand yourself, the easier it is to express your needs to others. The more you understand the extent of your challenges, the more you will realize the importance of seeking help.
4. Journaling will help you to feel more pleasant emotions.
Numbing is avoiding feeling your difficult emotions by doing something that will occupy you and will let you get distracted. According to research by Brene Brown, people who face difficult emotions often engage in behaviors that numb their feelings or help them avoid experiencing pain.
We numb by binge-watching, eating and drinking, or burying ourselves in busyness at work, and some will tune out and choose not to care. Feeling our emotions is vulnerable, and most of us don’t like that feeling. It’s painful; it’s uncomfortable. We will do anything to avoid and to seek temporary comfort.
Most of us thought numbing was a sign of strength. Still, when we numb, that’s when we numb everything too—in her book Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown said that when we don’t allow sadness, anger, fear, and other challenging emotions in our hearts, we also ban pleasant emotions like joy, gratitude, love, and other human emotions. Avoiding is not a sign of strength, far from it. Numbing is not being courageous in facing your reality. You will not feel pleased and grateful if you don’t deal with something you are feeling deep down in your heart.
So, in short, if we want to feel more pleasant emotions such as joy, gratitude, love, and wonder, we need not avoid unpleasant feelings!
We created this journal for adults because we want to practice TUNING into our emotions first to be a good emotional support to our kids. Inspired by Brene Brown’s books Daring Greatly’ and ‘Gifts of Imperfection,’ this journal will help you be emotionally in touch and authentic.
My Wholehearted Journey | Feelings and Gratitude Journal
Wholehearted living means believing you are worthy no matter what. It is accepting that you are not perfect and make mistakes, that you are fearful and vulnerable most of the time, but that the truth remains that you are worthy of love and belonging and that you are also brave. It is essential to embrace vulnerability. Wholehearted living is a practice and a process. This feelings and gratitude journal will prompt us to stay awake and be in touch with the things we struggle with or are grateful for.
Being authentic, expressing disagreement when necessary, and not trying to please everyone are difficult yet essential actions. Only by continuously learning about our inner feelings and emotions can we truly become wholehearted.
Journalling can bring authenticity, gratitude, and mindfulness into your life, especially when distracted and stressed. Whether you are a parent or not, this journal will surely benefit you and the people you care about. It will not be an easy journey, but it will be worth it because you are worth it.
Shop “My Wholehearted Journey” | Feelings and Gratitude Journal here.
For more inspiration in creating a family culture that promotes emotional connection, visit our Emosyon Bibo® website and follow our Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok.
References:
Brown, B. (2010) The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazeldon
Hawn, G. (2011) 10 Mindful Minutes . Penguin Group
Emosyon Bibo®: Socio-Emotional Learning (SEL) Tools Provider 